Hey Mary,
the sun came up at 5:15 today
i wasn’t up yet
(i’m still on “Lexapro in the blood” time
deep sleep longing for deeper
but there’s been an adjustment.
i live in a house now.)
*
“to get rid of dirt, you have to not be afraid of it,” is something I thought, dustpan in hand, this morning.
“Problem is, I have always been afraid of everything,” is the thought I had next.
Look, I’ll come back to that cobweb tomorrow
once i’m certain the spider has another place to go
(Once I am sure it is a regular spider and not one with poisonous fangs or radioactive blood or a neoliberal agenda)
suddenly so much made sense
and I could see
*
which fears were stupid and which were survival
and which ones weren’t even mine
If you don’t mind my asking
why were the punishments we created for ourselves so severe?
Because when I see your face I don’t see anything but mercy
But mary can we talk about how long you worked for Him
without ever once issuing a public statement
*
How old were you when you gave away the rights to your likeness
(No judgment
I’ve sold my soul for less)
“if you show yourself to me, I’ll love you,” is what I used to say to you as a kid
(God, what a jerk.)
But let’s say I make it up to you. I’ll make some tea from roots steeped in sunshine. I’ll make a rosary from job’s tears I grew from seed
and we’ll talk about how nothing much has changed
and just what can be done about that
s.r. 6.20.20
I’ve been doing a lot of non-fiction writing and editing for clients and channeling a lot of creative energy into activism and it has left me with literally no “non-fiction” brainpower left.
(Even just writing that paragraph was exhausting, and took a literal half hour compared to that poem which took like 7 minutes.)
And so instead of the standard programming about creativity, I’m going to be sharing my own prose and poetry. It might remain weekly but I’m also toying with the idea of creating a series and/or teaming up with others to do a publication.
As for today, I wanted to write about living in a house in the woods, sleeping in a room where a nun used to sleep, and trying my best to keep a lot of little green creatures alive.
as always, feedback welcome
xoxox Sarah
Beautiful piece! I can't wait to read more of your poetry. This is exactly what I do when "other" work is too difficult: bring in the poetry. 💖